Compliment, not Compete

Welcome back on this beautiful day everyone!

        OK so for today's post I want to discuss how and why it's important to compliment other women, and not feel the need to compete with them. I know, I know that I am going to sound like a broken record here, but it all goes back to unconditionally loving yourself, and I am going to explain why in this post. When I was about 14 years old and really started getting into beauty and trends, I remember noticing how pretty the other girls in the class looked with how they did their hair and the accessories they wore, and got a little jealous because I wanted to look like them. So I started to dress up trying to impress them, even looking for compliments from these girls, as some sort of validation that they acknowledged and approved of my style, or that I could even "look better" than them. I know this sounds awful! But I also know that most of us girls have been there too, so I'm not alone. It sort of turns into this silent competition, with girls pretending not to compete with one another, but secretly wishing for some sort of recognition and approval, and trying to one-up the outfits, or the makeup, or purses on the other girls the next day. Of course some of these girls could have genuinely complimented me and each other, but there was still a sense of competing and envy.

        When I got older and into my twenties, I came across a girl at work who complimented my makeup a lot. And she was always totally genuine and sincere, there was no sense of jealously or competition...she really LOVED my makeup look! This made me feel so good! It was refreshing for someone to give me a compliment with no strings attached. And from this, I learned from her example and began to make more of an effort to be totally pure in my compliments of other people. It is important to truly recognize that what you are giving really does have no strings attached, so you can clear out any subconscious "strings" that you didn't realize were there... because they've been running in your emotional and mental consciousness for so long. Things such as deep down expecting a compliment or something in return, or just expecting anything in return at all, since that has been part of your experiences in the past. And this is where unconditional love comes in. You have to give with love.You have to love yourself with no conditions, like needing someone else's approval in exchange for a compliment... you have to be so overflowing with self love that you have more than enough to give to others, such as in the forms of genuine compliments. When you do see someone wearing a piece of jewelry that you find absolutely gorgeous, channel that passion and happiness for how much you love and adore that necklace they have on...celebrate it! Be happy and grateful that it exists, loving that there are so many beautiful things and creative people in the world. Yes, take it to that level. Reacting to how much you love that woman's necklace with jealousy, or expecting a compliment in return is a silent but deadly form of unhealthy competition that is not necessary. It can even create unwanted drama and negativity if taken on an extreme level, which does happen...especially with women who have a lot of difficulty loving themselves unconditionally.

        So take the higher, happier, and more positive road of giving compliments of things you find beautiful and love about another person with no strings attached, and give them with your powerful burst of love, appreciation, and happiness. Spread positivity and appreciation of beauty, not competition and negativity which only weighs everyone down. Let's lift each other up. And when you do, a wonderful sense of harmony and connection happens when someone realizes how genuine you are when you compliment her necklace. So working on giving sincere compliments not only benefits you of freeing yourself from the conditions of strings of competition, but also to the person you are offering the compliment to because they appreciate your sincerity. 

        OK so that is it for today's post...I hope that you learned something from my examples if this is an area that you personally struggle with. Like I said before, not every person gives compliments with strings attached, so don't start getting paranoid! This is just a situation that many women find themselves in and struggle with that I wanted to address and offer advice and help on. And if you do struggle with this, then you know exactly what I am talking about. I hope you leave now feeling inspired and I encourage you all to try it out and freely give your compliments with unconditional love! It feels so good. Thank you so much for joining me and reading this blog post today and I sure hope you come back again. Until next time!

        Sending you Love and Light,

   Rebecca