Self Love: The Key to Everything you Want
Welcome back beauties!
I am so happy to have you here today, thank you for stopping by! The reason I'm so happy to have you here is because today's topic is a deep, challenging one that almost everyone struggles with, and that is self love. Why does everyone struggle so much with this? What are the underlying issues that cause such a lack of self love? The answers to this are deeply rooted in our societal conditioning- what we have chosen to believe about ourselves handed down to us from the past, and then continually enabled by those around us, creating a strong status quo that is faced with much resistance if not upheld. To find someone who truly loves themselves unconditionally is like finding a rare gem, you don't see it that often and everyone wants to attain that glow... that radiance... that happiness for themselves too. These people have a genuine, healthy and deep respect for themselves which no one can seem to touch. So what's the secret?
Everything we want stems from self love:
That's a lot of big things that are important to us as human beings. We all want to feel good, and to be happy. First of all, self worth and deservingness go very close, hand in hand with self love, and everything else stems from that. For example, if you don't believe that you deserve love, abundance, and happiness, then you can't still love yourself and also hold that belief - they go together. So now lets split this up and see how lack of self love is the underlying cause of your happiness.
If we take a look at the negative and unpleasant emotions and beliefs such as: desperation, jealousy and envy, competition, self sabotage, and greed, we will see that all of these emotions don't make us feel good, so we'd rather avoid them. We will see that they stem from a single place. If we would rather avoid them, then why do we experience them...What is the root cause? It is lack of self love. So many people act on these emotions because of this, creating very negative, unpleasant, and painful experiences. And those experiences will continue with the fighting, unhealthy competition, self sabotage, and other toxic, harmful behaviors because the root of the problem is still there, lack of self love. So until we learn to love and accept ourselves unconditionally as we are, then we will keep repeating these lessons and experiences until we stop, dig deep, and change our beliefs and how we feel. Self love enables us to have enough faith (faith is based in love) to believe that what we want is possible, that we deserve it, and that it's on its way the moment we choose it.
Desperation & Personal Power
So let me forewarn you, I will be reminding you of the definitions of a few words for clarification and comparison. Let's start with desperation. The definition of desperation means to be in such a state of despair that it leads to extreme behavior. Well, why the desperation? The desperation is a belief, a mindset, and acting from that mindset. There is always a way- always. And if you DID believe that you deserved whatever it is you are being so desperate about, then the way would become clear and made manifest for you. Haven't you ever heard stories of people in extreme, desperate situations like living on the streets and then eventually becoming successful millionaires? How did they do that? Something sparked in them that said no more, and a way was made clear... either they followed their intuitive guidance they received like an idea for a business, or they attracted the right people or circumstances from where they were and continued to follow that intuitive guidance with that faith through completion of the manifestation. They realized they no longer had to live they way they were living and wanted better for themselves. Wanting better for themselves is coming from a place of self love, and truly believing that it was possible is what created that new reality for them, along with following the guidance and keeping the faith. Because that is how the Universe works, ask, believe, receive. In this case of desperation and deserving more, simply by asking, it is believed that it's possible. You will never ask for something if you don't believe it's possible, whatever that may be and for whatever reasons.
So that example also intertwines with a personal power issue. Victimization mentality is putting all power outside of yourself, blaming everything and everyone else for your problems. This is a biggie for almost everyone. Why? Because our society has conditioned us for years and years that logic is the only way to solve your problems, and if its not able to be done by logic, then it cannot be done so it must be someone else's fault. Isn't that how most people live their lives and enable others to do the same? And if you try and go outside of that, then you are met with a lot of resistance in the form of negativity, and people trying to sabotage you, tell you that you are crazy, that it cannot be done and shouldn't be done. So the idea of owning your personal power, holding beliefs that you know to be true for you and acting on them can seem terrifying because it is ultimately a solo process. No one can follow your intuitive guidance for you. No one can produce and deliver the gifts that you are being led to bring fourth. No one can hold your faith for you. Only you can make those decisions and produce the results that you are envisioning for yourself. So this is where self love comes in. Do you love yourself enough to follow your bliss, and do what is right for you, what will make you happy and feel good? Do you have enough faith in yourself and in the Universe? If the answer is no, then it won't happen. And personal power is such key because once its achieved, you can pretty much do anything else from that point, that's why it's power.
Jealousy, Envy & Competition
Moving on to the other emotions, the definition of jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something. Envy is a reaction to lacking something (Yes, I was also surprised when looking this up, most people switch the two). You can be jealous and envious at the same time of course. These unfriendly emotions are what create so much competition in the world which produces much negative and harsh energy. When jealousy comes up, and I mean strong jealousy to the point where it is overwhelming, that is definitely stemming from lack of self love. Because it's quite normal to have a little jealousy of other men or women looking at your partner. So the reason why strong jealousy is lack of self love is because the person doesn't feel secure enough in themselves to trust. They are so afraid of losing something that it becomes a need. Neediness isn't love. Love is fulfilling, trusting, and giving. So you know the saying right? You can't give if your cup is empty, you can't love another until you love yourself first. There is no fear in love.
Like I said above, envy is the reaction to lacking something. Lacking anything, could be abilities that someone else has that you wish you had, stuff, cars, houses, a romantic partner. See this comes from lack of personal power also, like I explained above. Why don't you have what you want, that you see someone else has and wish you had it as well? Because you don't believe that it is possible for you, you have not worked on yourself enough to find that inner power and be courageous enough to act on it, which stems from fear. Which goes back into deserving issues and low self esteem, which all roots back to self love. See where I'm going with this? Everything connects back to unconditional love of the self. Confidence would be an example of this type of self love fulfilled. Yes, I'm going to throw another definition at ya: Confidence: a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. BELIEVING in yourself, in that you can do anything you want. Imagine if everyone truly loved themselves? Why would you be jealous or envious of others? You wouldn't because of the total fulfillment self love provides. Now that would be a harmonious world to live in.
Why don't you love yourself?
This is where the work gets done, the clearing and healing and processing of those hidden emotions. This effort will help shift you out of fear, pain, and despair and into self love. I want you to go into yourself and ask that question. Dig deep and answer honestly. If you are into writing, get out your notebook, write the question at the top of the page and let what comes out just flow.
I will give you a personal example that many will be able to relate to. I was doing a job that I liked but living a life that was not at all what I wanted. My angels and spirit guides kept letting me know that I was just being too desperate, and they were right. I then asked myself, why am I being so desperate? My first intuitive answer came to me was because I didn't believe I deserved better. Then I asked more, why didn't I believe I deserved better? Because I don't love myself I answered again. Why don't I love myself? This one I had to really think about. Digging deep here, I came up with that I was holding onto unforgiveness toward myself for my past mistakes I've made, really being way too hard on myself and letting that fester in my energy and thoughts.
Anger and unforgiveness towards yourself (and others) for mistakes is a common example as a block to self love. Once you are able to let the situation and past go, then you can forgive yourself, see it from a different perspective and move on. Once you love yourself, the practice of forgiving yourself and others becomes easier and faster. Judging yourself, by saying things like I should be doing this by now, or I'm not doing enough are examples that. Let go of judgement and replace those thoughts with loving ones like, I did the best I could and am doing the best I can now. Give yourself some credit and understand that you aren't supposed to do everything, it's OK! Give yourself permission to be kind to YOU.
Working On the Blocks
The reasons for lack of self love differ for everyone as you can imagine. I would encourage you to find someone to talk with about these issues if you are having too much trouble doing it on your own- it helps to have someone listen to you and offer different perspectives and support. Once you can get to the bottom of it and find the reasons why you don't love yourself, then you're free to work on those issues for however long it takes to heal. Understand that there are layers of this, which is why it takes time. But try not to procrastinate so that no progress is made, if self love is something you want to have for yourself. Little progress is some progress, which is better than no progress!
Some of the ways to help you heal and work through these blocks include:
I am so happy to have you here today, thank you for stopping by! The reason I'm so happy to have you here is because today's topic is a deep, challenging one that almost everyone struggles with, and that is self love. Why does everyone struggle so much with this? What are the underlying issues that cause such a lack of self love? The answers to this are deeply rooted in our societal conditioning- what we have chosen to believe about ourselves handed down to us from the past, and then continually enabled by those around us, creating a strong status quo that is faced with much resistance if not upheld. To find someone who truly loves themselves unconditionally is like finding a rare gem, you don't see it that often and everyone wants to attain that glow... that radiance... that happiness for themselves too. These people have a genuine, healthy and deep respect for themselves which no one can seem to touch. So what's the secret?
- Positive emotional state and well being
- Hope & positive outlook on life
- Personal power & confidence
- Abundance
- Openness to receiving
- Truly loving & fulfilling relationships
- General happiness
That's a lot of big things that are important to us as human beings. We all want to feel good, and to be happy. First of all, self worth and deservingness go very close, hand in hand with self love, and everything else stems from that. For example, if you don't believe that you deserve love, abundance, and happiness, then you can't still love yourself and also hold that belief - they go together. So now lets split this up and see how lack of self love is the underlying cause of your happiness.
Lack of Self Love
Desperation & Personal Power
So let me forewarn you, I will be reminding you of the definitions of a few words for clarification and comparison. Let's start with desperation. The definition of desperation means to be in such a state of despair that it leads to extreme behavior. Well, why the desperation? The desperation is a belief, a mindset, and acting from that mindset. There is always a way- always. And if you DID believe that you deserved whatever it is you are being so desperate about, then the way would become clear and made manifest for you. Haven't you ever heard stories of people in extreme, desperate situations like living on the streets and then eventually becoming successful millionaires? How did they do that? Something sparked in them that said no more, and a way was made clear... either they followed their intuitive guidance they received like an idea for a business, or they attracted the right people or circumstances from where they were and continued to follow that intuitive guidance with that faith through completion of the manifestation. They realized they no longer had to live they way they were living and wanted better for themselves. Wanting better for themselves is coming from a place of self love, and truly believing that it was possible is what created that new reality for them, along with following the guidance and keeping the faith. Because that is how the Universe works, ask, believe, receive. In this case of desperation and deserving more, simply by asking, it is believed that it's possible. You will never ask for something if you don't believe it's possible, whatever that may be and for whatever reasons.
So that example also intertwines with a personal power issue. Victimization mentality is putting all power outside of yourself, blaming everything and everyone else for your problems. This is a biggie for almost everyone. Why? Because our society has conditioned us for years and years that logic is the only way to solve your problems, and if its not able to be done by logic, then it cannot be done so it must be someone else's fault. Isn't that how most people live their lives and enable others to do the same? And if you try and go outside of that, then you are met with a lot of resistance in the form of negativity, and people trying to sabotage you, tell you that you are crazy, that it cannot be done and shouldn't be done. So the idea of owning your personal power, holding beliefs that you know to be true for you and acting on them can seem terrifying because it is ultimately a solo process. No one can follow your intuitive guidance for you. No one can produce and deliver the gifts that you are being led to bring fourth. No one can hold your faith for you. Only you can make those decisions and produce the results that you are envisioning for yourself. So this is where self love comes in. Do you love yourself enough to follow your bliss, and do what is right for you, what will make you happy and feel good? Do you have enough faith in yourself and in the Universe? If the answer is no, then it won't happen. And personal power is such key because once its achieved, you can pretty much do anything else from that point, that's why it's power.
Jealousy, Envy & Competition
Moving on to the other emotions, the definition of jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something. Envy is a reaction to lacking something (Yes, I was also surprised when looking this up, most people switch the two). You can be jealous and envious at the same time of course. These unfriendly emotions are what create so much competition in the world which produces much negative and harsh energy. When jealousy comes up, and I mean strong jealousy to the point where it is overwhelming, that is definitely stemming from lack of self love. Because it's quite normal to have a little jealousy of other men or women looking at your partner. So the reason why strong jealousy is lack of self love is because the person doesn't feel secure enough in themselves to trust. They are so afraid of losing something that it becomes a need. Neediness isn't love. Love is fulfilling, trusting, and giving. So you know the saying right? You can't give if your cup is empty, you can't love another until you love yourself first. There is no fear in love.
Like I said above, envy is the reaction to lacking something. Lacking anything, could be abilities that someone else has that you wish you had, stuff, cars, houses, a romantic partner. See this comes from lack of personal power also, like I explained above. Why don't you have what you want, that you see someone else has and wish you had it as well? Because you don't believe that it is possible for you, you have not worked on yourself enough to find that inner power and be courageous enough to act on it, which stems from fear. Which goes back into deserving issues and low self esteem, which all roots back to self love. See where I'm going with this? Everything connects back to unconditional love of the self. Confidence would be an example of this type of self love fulfilled. Yes, I'm going to throw another definition at ya: Confidence: a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. BELIEVING in yourself, in that you can do anything you want. Imagine if everyone truly loved themselves? Why would you be jealous or envious of others? You wouldn't because of the total fulfillment self love provides. Now that would be a harmonious world to live in.
Why don't you love yourself?
This is where the work gets done, the clearing and healing and processing of those hidden emotions. This effort will help shift you out of fear, pain, and despair and into self love. I want you to go into yourself and ask that question. Dig deep and answer honestly. If you are into writing, get out your notebook, write the question at the top of the page and let what comes out just flow.
I will give you a personal example that many will be able to relate to. I was doing a job that I liked but living a life that was not at all what I wanted. My angels and spirit guides kept letting me know that I was just being too desperate, and they were right. I then asked myself, why am I being so desperate? My first intuitive answer came to me was because I didn't believe I deserved better. Then I asked more, why didn't I believe I deserved better? Because I don't love myself I answered again. Why don't I love myself? This one I had to really think about. Digging deep here, I came up with that I was holding onto unforgiveness toward myself for my past mistakes I've made, really being way too hard on myself and letting that fester in my energy and thoughts.
Anger and unforgiveness towards yourself (and others) for mistakes is a common example as a block to self love. Once you are able to let the situation and past go, then you can forgive yourself, see it from a different perspective and move on. Once you love yourself, the practice of forgiving yourself and others becomes easier and faster. Judging yourself, by saying things like I should be doing this by now, or I'm not doing enough are examples that. Let go of judgement and replace those thoughts with loving ones like, I did the best I could and am doing the best I can now. Give yourself some credit and understand that you aren't supposed to do everything, it's OK! Give yourself permission to be kind to YOU.
The reasons for lack of self love differ for everyone as you can imagine. I would encourage you to find someone to talk with about these issues if you are having too much trouble doing it on your own- it helps to have someone listen to you and offer different perspectives and support. Once you can get to the bottom of it and find the reasons why you don't love yourself, then you're free to work on those issues for however long it takes to heal. Understand that there are layers of this, which is why it takes time. But try not to procrastinate so that no progress is made, if self love is something you want to have for yourself. Little progress is some progress, which is better than no progress!
Some of the ways to help you heal and work through these blocks include:
- Going out in nature! Being around outside is probably my top suggestion. God's healing power is pure and deeply healing and cleansing. And you can hear your own intuition best in nature what what help it is trying to offer you.
- Be around like minded people. Sign up for a class in a hobby you enjoy just for fun and see who you meet. When I say like minded, I mean people who are into the same passions as you. Connecting with others who are into the same things you are will provide a level of support that will help you feel safe to be yourself and learn to love yourself because they will point out and show you what they love about you, helping you to see it for yourself.
- Read positive books & materials. For this, I suggest following your intuition on what to read or even watch. Ask the Universe to show you what would be most beneficial for your healing of the block to self love and follow the trail. Taking in new information will help you unlock new ideas that are more productive and loving. If you know forgiveness is a block for you, then read things talking about how to forgive.
- Loving self talk. Start integrating new thoughts and ways of responding when resistance pops up. Be aware and change how you talk to yourself and what you say about yourself to others. These seemingly little details have a big impact and will help more than you think. Stop calling yourself an idiot to your friends...you know we've all done it!
- Talk about it. Release your feelings to someone you trust, whether that be a professional, a friend, or even a family member who you want to express your feelings to if that feels right. While no one can make you love yourself, they can be there for you and offer support when you need a loving shoulder.
- Take action. Start making lifestyle changes, big or small, that reflect how you feel inside that reflects honoring and respecting your soul. But of course, follow your guidance! Do what feels right at the right time, and have faith with how it will turn out. After all, you deserve better.
So now I hope you can see how self love is the key to everything you want. Once this inner unconditional love is achieved, then all choices stem from this love in all areas of life. No longer is accepting less than you deserve tolerated because you know what you truly desire is possible, and that you deserve it. When it comes down to it, the idea of undeservingness is just that, a belief. And beliefs can be changed with effort and releasing of its ties to things as memories and emotions behind that old belief. When you are ready and willing to let go, to change, then you have that choice and that power to do so. Don't let yourself stay in the dark any longer and free yourself and your life to let all the love in! Reality will change into magic when you do.
Thank you all so much for joining me today and I sincerely hoped this helped you in some way. I encourage you to leave a comment telling us why you love yourself. Let's spread the joy and get the ball rolling! Positivity and love are contagious.
Sending you love and light,
Rebecca
Thank you all so much for joining me today and I sincerely hoped this helped you in some way. I encourage you to leave a comment telling us why you love yourself. Let's spread the joy and get the ball rolling! Positivity and love are contagious.
Sending you love and light,
Rebecca
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